Overwhelm& taking Care Of Ourselves
by Elisa
Life is a beautiful gift… and a chaotic hot mess. We are privileged to live on Planet Earth amongst all the wonders of the natural and built world.But between the wonders is also the discord, suffering and uncertainty which can send us into spirals of alarm, doubt and stress.What happens in those times when it all seems too much; when there is too much suffering and despair for us to comprehend, let alone change?
In times of widespread uncertainty and difficulty, how do we take care of ourselves? How do we let go of the distraction and focus on what, in our sphere of influence, is important and worthy of our time and energy? How do we come home to the safety of ourselves?
This blog describes how to recognise the signs of overwhelm, suggests some tools to manage it, and introduces Reiki as the perfect ally in discovering what we need.
Overwhelm.
You’re mentally and emotionally exhausted, finding it difficult to focus, unable to gather your thoughts to plan and prioritise. You’re feeling trapped and isolated. This is overwhelm – a sense that the world has closed in and there’s no immediate way out of the sensation. Overwhelm can happen for all sorts of reasons and at any time. It can arise from current events, or have its roots in the past.
Regardless of the origin, overwhelm is a message from the mind and body to stop, take notice and take care of ourselves. The feeling is conveying that something isn’t right here, that something needs attention; your attention. Something is out of alignment or not true for you. You are trying to push through, accommodate or tolerate and your body’s wisdom is saying NO!
These feelings of overwhelm are created by the sympathetic nervous system. This is the warning and alert system of the body which is designed to protect and prepare us for fight or flight. Among other things, it increases the heart rate and sends adrenaline to the body, so our hearts race and we get super-vigilant. When we find ourselves in this activated state it can take all of our effort and resources to find a way back to a regulated state.
Finding Balance.
So how do we find balance from this place? There are different methods, and choosing what works and is right for you can involve a bit of experimentation. It can be helpful to seek professional help from a counsellor or therapist to help navigate the options, if that feels right for you.
Methods to regulate can be expressive or quiet and introspective. Emotional release techniques are expressive and designed to discharge energy and ‘vent’ feelings that feel like internal blockages. The quieter and more introspective methods include offering ourselves self-compassion and care, or seeking the support of nature by getting outside.
Co-regulation with another can also an effective way of coming out of a heightened state. Having an experience witnessed and validated by another can sometimes be what is needed to discharge the energy of fight or flight. Reaching out and asking someone to listen to you… not give advice or provide you with answers, but actively listen without comment or judgement, can be affirming and bring about a more regulated state.
Once the sympathetic nervous system has calmed down and the charge of emotion has left the body, it is important to resource. Self-soothing practices can be done alone or with another. If the energy of overwhelm has been discharged in a very active and expressive way, it is important to complete the cycle by bringing focus back to self and the breath.
Letting Go.
What would it be like for you if outside influences didn’t take you to the point of overwhelm? The reality is that we can’t control the behaviour of others or how they will respond to us – we can only control our own reactions. Letting go of our reactions to others is a daily practice, especially when the news cycle constantly serves us images of distress that are hard to ignore and avoid. Letting go is not the same as accepting, putting our heads in the sand or allowing boundaries to be crossed. Rather, it is an act of taking care of ourselves by choosing what we have the capacity to engage with and what is not worthy of our precious time and energy.
It can be difficult to catch the moment of activation, but when we can and prevent ourselves from reacting, that muscle of empowerment is strengthened and overwhelm is less likely to occur. The more we can let things go, the more our internal equilibrium is nurtured and preserved and we become a safe place for ourselves.
One of the most effective ways of coming home to ourselves is to take the time to ‘go inside’, reflect and get to know ourselves better. There are many practices that are effective vehicles for this, from physical movement practices like yoga to still and internal practices like meditation. Reiki is a holistic therapy that lies somewhere in between as an embodiment practice that effectively unites the physical, mental, emotional and spiritual ‘bodies’.
Dr Usui discovered Reiki and brought it to the world; this holistic modality is non-invasive, appropriate for everyone, and a beautiful way of connecting with ourselves. It is a deeply relaxing internal journey of self-discovery and knowledge. Reiki, and other energy-based practices, allow the body to be still and for the recipient to connect deeply with their inner experience. With little or no external stimulus (Reiki is not a massage), the nervous system is allowed to sink deeply into the parasympathetic state where rest and rejuvenation are found.
The following words were left by Dr Usui to remind us about the importance of letting go as a path for coming home to ourselves…
Inviting happiness
Just today
Do not get angry
Do not worry
Show appreciation
Work hard (on yourself)
Be kind to others
– Dr Usui
Elisa is a fully qualified and insured holistic therapist; she gained her diploma of reflexology in 2003 and was recognised as a reiki master / teacher in 2009. Elisa has gained extensive experience from working with a range of patient groups, including developing a specialism in palliative care.
